Hope walked into the restaurant followed by her best friend Grace. They left church about an hour ago and stopped by their condo to change clothes. Going out in her Sunday best was never comfortable.

“Table for two,” Hope said when the waitress approached to seat them. “Non-smoking, please.” The waitress took one look at them and lifted her nose. She pointed to the restaurant is a non-smoking sign grabbed two menus’ leading them to a table.

“Could we have a booth? I see you have several free.” Hope pointed out some booths.

“Do you think that’s wise since you are both…” The waitress’s hands went to their not flat middles.

Grace the peacemaker grabbed Hope before she could flatten the woman and spend the day in jail.

“You’re too pretty to be in jail, girl. Someone would try to make you their bitch. You know when they said sticks and… well, they were talking about her.” They both laughed as Grace picked out their table.

The waitress tossed the menus on the table and walked away.

“Is it me? It feels like the climate around us gets worse every day. I fear one day I’ll wake up to find myself on the most wanted list. It’s a crime to weigh more than one hundred thirty pounds or whatever the going rate for Miss. America is. Wait google is my friend.” Hope pulled her phone out.

“I didn’t find a weight limit, but I did find out that the contestant must be a size ten or smaller. I’m surprised they accept women that size. Also, you’re not allowed to have any children, not even adopted ones and can’t ever have been pregnant. I’ll stop there, it’s not worth me getting upset over. Let’s not forget you can’t be brown. You probably think you’re safe from that rule, but once they get rid of all the people of color, they’ll get rid of the white people who are a little too dark.”

“Part of me thinks you’re a little on the paranoid side. The other part is beginning to wonder,” Grace told her.

“Can I bring you anything to drink?” A different waitress approached them.

“I’ll take a glass of orange juice and coffee please, regular,” Hope ordered.

“Make that two,” Grace told the waitress.

“I’ll be back in a jiff, let me know when you’re ready to order.”

“I’ve been dying to come to this place. I hear the food is great.” Grace opened her menu licking her lips at all the breakfast offerings.

When the waitress brought their coffee and orange juice they ordered, then sat back to relax.

“When are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”

Hope shrugged. She told her best friend everything, but this felt like something she should keep under her hat.

“I’ve had this crazy thought for years. It will never happen but the older I get the more I want to give it a shot.”

“Now I’m interested,” Grace leaned over the table.

“Back up girl, you can’t handle this.” They laughed before getting back down to business. Hope looked around before she decided to talk.

“Neither one of us is getting any younger.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Hope ignored Grace they were two months apart. “At this point, I don’t think I’m ever going to get married. Why shouldn’t I try?”

“Oh my gosh, you want to cross the line, well not cross the line. Look woman I love you, but I need dick. I’ll be your cheerleader though. I know some hot women that would snatch you up in a heartbeat.”

“There are reasons I love you Grace and this is one of them.  Sadly, I’m not attracted to women. It might make my life easier if I was. I was talking about two men at once.”

Grace dropped her mouth in a large ‘O’.

“Isn’t that what the preacher was preaching on?”

“Yeah, he started out with the familiar song and dance about homosexuality using that passage from Job. The passage we know is really talking about rape, but men don’t want to talk about that. Then he went on to how could two women who were meant to give birth do something like have sex together and ended up with a woman who has relations with more than one man will burn in hell. When he realized that only the children weren’t guilty of this, he specified a woman who slept with two men at once.” She took a drink of her orange juice before making sure her coffee had enough cream and sugar.

“Do you think I’m going to hell?” Hope stopped to look at her friend.

“You? Please, you’re one of the nicest people on the planet and a believer to boot.”

“I don’t just want sex with two men. I want two men as in a relationship. To have and to hold till death do we part. Handfasting or whatever they call it when more than two people marry. I want it all. Will society accept me?”

“Who care’s unless you’re marrying society.”

“Damn!” A woman screamed loud enough to draw everyone’s attention. “She,” pointing at Hope, “just said she needs two men because her gaping hole is too big for one.”

“What did you—”

“What’s going on over here,” the manager in a white button-down with the word manager on the pocket cut Hope off.

“This woman just said she has to have sex with two men at a time because her whole is so big one just flops out.”

There were snickers in the room.

“What’s a hole mommy?” A little boy asked.

“My child, I thought this was a reputable establishment.”

“Wait, a minute. That doesn’t seem like something someone would publicize. Her table is away from everyone else’s.”

“I heard her as plain as day,” an older woman stood up. “When I was a young mother, I would beat a child for talking that way. When I was young people like her weren’t allowed to eat where good white folks ate.”

“I heard her too,” the husband backed up his wife.

“I heard her too.” A teen stood up. “She was talking about how many men she slept with last night. I didn’t know a person could cum that much.” The teen’s mom pulled her down, but she didn’t correct the lie.

“This is what I’ve been telling you about Grace.”

“Ma’am you’ll have to leave. We consider ourselves a Christian establishment and you can understand why this type of talk would bother our clients.

“I was just leaving.”

“I’m coming.”

“No, you stay.”

“I’m not staying if they are kicking you out.”

“Yes, you are. Grace you need a reality check. If you come with me, you’ll convince yourself it wasn’t that bad.”

The waitress brought the food to the table.

“You’ll have to pay for your meal. I can have it boxed and brought outside to you.”

“I wouldn’t eat that if you begged me too.” She reached for her purse before she stopped and put it on her shoulder. “I won’t be paying for a meal I didn’t get a chance to eat. Call the cops if you want, I guarantee you’ll be in every paper, on television, and on social media. As for you,” she turned to look at the woman who was spying on her. A woman she happened to know. “I’d say see you in hell, but the only ones going there are you and your friends that forgot the good book says to love everyone.” She walked out head held high. That answered her question, society wasn’t ready to accept a relationship that had more than two people in it. Fortunately for her, she stopped caring what society thought a long time ago.

She drove aimlessly for a while before she finally pulled into the park. A bench along the running trail called out to her. With nothing better to do, she took a seat. Amy. She hated that twig. It didn’t start out that way. She met her on her second day at work. It looked like they would become friends until they were in competition for the same position. Hope didn’t think much about it another position would come up it always did.

They picked Hope for the position that Amy bragged about having in the bag. From that day she hated Hope’s guts. She wasn’t surprised Amy would do something like that. What caught her off guard was the fact that she didn’t feel Amy’s presence. Most of the time it felt like evil spreading over her skin.

She’d never go back to that restaurant. Thankfully she would be giving her resignation on Monday. There was nothing to worry about, the acid rolling in her stomach disagreed with her. Amy was evil, and she was sure she hadn’t seen the last of her. She wanted to stress more, but the man coming off the running path was certifiable grade A stock and she wanted a piece of him.

He was probably taken; men like him always were. His jog turned into a brisk walk that finally slowed to a normal walk. He did some twists as he came her way. She’d twist with him.

He debated looking at her then looking like he was going to walk past. He stopped and dropped in front of her sitting on the grass.

“Hi, my name’s Seth. I saw you sitting alone, and you look upset. I wondered if you want to talk about it?”

“Hey Seth, thanks for stopping. My issue is kind of personal, besides its one of those things that make good God-fearing people like you want to get out the holy water and the cross.”

“Did you miss the shirt?” He stood up. The front said, ‘Am I gay?’ He turned around. The back said, ‘You bet your sweet bottom.’

She laughed. “Maybe you won’t dose me with holy water and throw me in the river to see if I float.”

“I’m pretty sure I can contain myself.”

“If I tell you what’s on my mind, then you have to answer a question for me honestly.”

He sat down his chin resting against his fist before he finally nodded. “It seems fair I am asking you to tell me things and have no idea what you will say. I’ll do it. Consider that a win, I usually don’t answer questions.”

“It’s a deal. Either you come up on the bench or I’ll join you on the ground. Good thing I changed into jeans before coming out.”

“Come sit,” he patted the grass in front of him.

Hope slid off the bench into the grass feeling younger than her forty years.

“After church, my roommate and I went to get something to eat. Kind of a brunch thing. You’re probably wondering why someone my age has a roommate.”

“I wasn’t, but why don’t you tell me.”

She waited until a distracted jogger passed before continuing.

“I’m not married, and neither is she. To be honest, I think we’ve both given up on that boat. I know people my age tie the knot, there are just fewer people my age that are single. Maybe it just feels that way to me. We got tired of going out and then going home to our lonely houses, so we got a nice place together. It beats sitting on the phone talking when we can sit on the couch and talk without having to drive home to sleep.”

“That makes sense to me. My friends and I solved the problem by all living in the same building.”

“You get it.” Hope flashed him a smile. “Anyway, we are at this restaurant and Grace, she’s my roommate and bestie, is pestering me about what I’m thinking. Normally I would have kept it to myself until one of our late-night gabfests, but the preacher really bothered me today. I thought we were alone and everyone in the restaurant was too far away to hear us. So, I spilled.”

She leaned back against the bench still not sure how to confess that she might be an actual pervert.

“You may or may not know that it is common for girls to grow up thinking about their wedding and what their husband would look like. Even when I was young, I knew I was different.”


“I wanted to marry Mr. Spock. Don’t laugh.” She held a hand up. “There is something about an alien that makes me hot. Now he has to the right kind of alien, but I figured I’d outgrow that.”

“So that’s not what’s bothering you, but you’re open to an alien?”

“Hell, yeah. No cussing on Sunday.”

“Then what’s bothering you?”

“I’m just gonna say it, I hope you’re not too shocked. For the last couple of years, I’ve been thinking about two guys. Not just having sex with two guys, but loving them, having their babies, being their world while they are mine. There I said it.”

She sat back waiting for the laughter or rude comment.

“Two males are a lot to take on.”

“I know, but this isn’t a whim and I’m talking about building a relationship, being in love with a committed relationship. I don’t do cheating.”

“I see. Why did this cause a problem?”

“There was a colleague of mine hiding. She heard my confession and screamed it to the whole restaurant. She said… that my hole was so big I needed two dicks to fill it.” Red flushed her brown cheeks.

“How many men needed to adjust themselves?”

“Now that you mention it there was a lot of wiggling going on.”

“Of course, there was. You’re hot and now every man in there will be having a dirty fantasy that you will be the star of.

“Yuck, that’s not how I want to get off.”

“You haven’t had brunch and I haven’t eaten either. Can my friend and I take you to lunch? I think brunch is over.”

“I’d like that.” Normally she’d turn him down, but there was something about Seth that turned her on.

“Also, my name is Hope.”


Close Menu